It’s binary. Either/Or. There are one of two situations.
1. When I do approach women, I improve.
2. When I don’t approach women, I don’t improve.
Regardless of the outcome. Maybe I’ll get rejected, embarrassed, or creep the girl out. Or maybe I’ll take her home and have mind-blowing sex. I’m still learning. My body is getting used to talking to hot women. I am improving. One approach at a time. Every day.
I’ve been doing pickup for a year and a half and I STILL find it difficult to approach one woman a day. Why?
In the beginning it took A LOT of emotional energy to get myself to go out and approach a girl. It was not easy to make sure I went out and did one approach a day. I had to make it the most important thing I did all day. At this point, it is not an emotional whirlwind anymore for me to approach.
I used to have a lot of approach anxiety. And I still have approach anxiety. But it has gone from that out-of-control gripping fear where my heart is racing at a thousand miles an hour to a relaxed excitement. Kinda like when you go out on a run and notice your heart rate is picking up. You feel your breath start to increase and you think to yourself, “yep, it’s supposed to do that.” If it’s not, you pick up the pace a bit. You challenge yourself a bit more.
The main reason I find it difficult to approach is because I am a busy guy. I’m rushing off to work or rushing to do something else.
Oh yeah, that and the fact that it’s negative 30 degrees out. Lord have mercy!
Over the summer I was going out religiously every day to the park to approach women. When it got cold and the parks emptied, I shifted my focus to subway game. And I enjoyed it because it was challenging and I improved.
But I found that if I approach women whenever I see them (on my way to work, out to lunch, etc.) I sometimes don’t get an approach in every day.
But if I make an effort to go out and approach a woman for 20 or 30 minutes, I am much more focused. I am much more likely to approach. Plus, it allows pickup to become a habit.
So I have gone back to going out every day at lunch. It’s fucking cold out there. But I still do it. I am a god-damn champ.
After lunch I pop into three stores and then head back to work: Ricky’s, Duane Reade, and Barnes and Noble. There is usually at least one hotty in one of these places. I’ve cut out the stores where it was unproductive or not many girls.
The first few days I went out and “scouted” for good locations. I didn’t put any pressure on myself to approach women. I just walked into a bunch of stores for a few days to see what was out there and where all the women are.
Now I am doing this every day, it is already easier to do a set. I hear less arguments from my internal wussy. I know what to expect when I get out there.
My life is improving. One approach at a time.