Comments on: Fuck Inner Game. Try Outer Game.

By: Tz

Tz — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:59:48 +0000

Great post. Just read this for the first time, and man, it is so true. Taking action is the only way to get over fear of talking to women you don’t know. Being a kung fu master at all the pickup techniques in the world won’t help you if you don’t go over and talk to her to get the ball rolling. And I’ve found a lot of times once I do that, I can just throw all the game stuff out the window because I don’t need it. Not that I’m naturally awesome or anything. But I just find that the interaction takes on a life of its own and I’m much better at just sort of getting into banter/vibe with a girl and flirting with her when I’m more focused on the moment and what she’s saying rather than worrying about whether I should be doing this or that pickup technique. I got a kiss close last night and all we did was have a fun conversation. I think if you can connect with a girl in a fun conversation, that alone is pretty powerful stuff. sorry I’m getting off on a tangent. I’ll shut up now.

By: mkb_408

mkb_408 — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:59:16 +0000

Hey Eric,
To me this post is really all about inner game. After all, you are talking about developing a formidable self-confidence to get what you want in life.

I also respect that you aren’t into proposing magic-bullet solutions. Thank you.

For those here who have strong social awkwardness. These resources will help you build the basic social skills needed:
http://www.succeedsocially.com
http://www.datinggroundwork.com — not very developed but has interesting articles

For those with super strong social awkwardness (aspergers):
Marc Segar’s “A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome”
The Unwritten Rules Of Social Relationships – look this up on amazon

By: Kingpin

Kingpin — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:25:11 +0000

Inner game is confidence. Period. And there are enough things to do in the community to get more/ over lack of confidence. Things like beating AA, going Kino, taking chances, being sexual, etc. Wasting time on this zen crap and “finding yourself” is bull.

A good outer game MAKES good inner game. Quote it.

By: colin roald

colin roald — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 23:25:27 +0000

The screwy thing is, dude, is that even while you’re saying “fuck inner game”, you’re writing a post about virtually nothing *but* inner game. “Inner game” doesn’t mean mystic woo-woo and affirmation bullshit. It means that the bottom layer foundation of your success at anything is your own beliefs about what is possible and what you are capable of. And getting over the transition from assuming women won’t like you to assuming they will? There’s no game more inner than that, man.

This whole post: hardly a word of it is about female psychology or how to read body language or logistics or routines or even about women at all. It’s about the fight inside Eric’s head. Inner fucking game.

But it’s true, too. You don’t fix inner game by sitting on your ass reading yet another forum post. You fix it by going out and doing and succeeding and failing and *proving things to yourself*.

By: Take The First Step and Meet the Girl | PickUp 101

Take The First Step and Meet the Girl | PickUp 101 — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:43:18 +0000

[...] And he worked it hard. He kept at it every day, and he drilled the fundamentals, and soon he was so good, I had no choice but to make him a teacher. One thing great teachers do is share with others EXACTLY what they did to master their craft, and Eric has written an article at approachanxiety.com that contains a KEY secret to getting better. [...]

By: Arthur

Arthur — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:34:58 +0000

I think you do need to get yourself together before you can go out there. your right no zen like experience will happen but if you dont believe in yourself and value your social worth no other woman out there is going to verify it for you .
You are right you gotta go out there and do it I agree on that . But if your in your head saying I cant do it your not going to do it .
You got to believe in you first before you go out there. Otherwise you aint gonna suceed.. But great article anyway

By: John Doe

John Doe — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:32:10 +0000

”I�m asking you to step out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time. And to do it consistently. The small changes begin to add up, most of it unnoticeable to you, until eventually you will find yourself at the top of the mountain.”

Awesome quote!

By: Columbo

Columbo — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 15:36:44 +0000

Good stuff.

Cultivating habits: “Ordinary actions, taken consistantly, produce extraordinary results” — Aristotle.

Getting out of your comfort zone: “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage” — Anais Nin.