As Unjustified and as Lonely as Any Other Man

by Eric Disco
Feb 4

From the twilight of day till the twilight of evening, a leopard in the last years of the thirteenth century, would see some wooden planks, some vertical iron bars, men and women who changed, a wall and perhaps a stone gutter filled with dry leaves. He did not know, could not know, that he longed for love and cruelty and the hot pleasure of tearing things to pieces and the wind carrying the scent of a deer, but something suffocated and rebelled within him and God spoke to him in a dream: You live and will die in this prison so that a man I know of may see you a certain number of times and not forget you and place your figure and symbol in a poem which has its precise place in the scheme of the universe. You suffer captivity, but you will have given a word to the poem. God, in the dream, illumed the animal’s brutishness and the animal understood these reasons and accepted his destiny, but, when he awoke, there was in him only an obscure resignation, a valorous ignorance, for the machinery of the world is much too complex for the simplicity of a beast.

Years later, Dante was dying in Ravenna, as unjustified and as lonely as any other man. In a dream, God declared to him the secret purpose of his life and work; Dante, in wonderment knew at last who and what he was and blessed the bitterness of his life. Tradition relates that, upon waking, he felt that he had received and lost an infinite thing, something he would not be able to recuperate or even glimpse, for the machinery of this world is much too complex for the simplicity of man.

-Jorge Louis Borges

For my coworker and friend, Orlando, who died last night in a weird and tragic accident.

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posted in Miscellaneous

COMMENTS
1 response
Tom says:

Sorry about your friend.

Just before reading this entry, I had read the following on the clublife (bouncer’s) blog where he talks about girls who are bad for guys. It made me think that at least getting less scared of approaching women gives guys options to date better women. Anyway, here’s the quote:

“More often than not, you’d like to say to me, it’s the guy who’s bad for the girl. And you’re right, but only to a point. This isn’t always the case. And when it’s the girl who’s bad for the guy, violence invariably ensues because men are fucking idiots and they can’t solve their problems any other way.

Think about it. You’re out with a girl you think you’ll be nailing that night. She ends up starting shit with someone, and now you’re caught in a situation where you have to either stand up for her or bail out – and you can’t bail out because she knows a shitload of people you know. When word of your “back-down” gets out – should you choose to go that route – you’re fucked. Embarrassed. Ashamed of yourself. You’ll be forced to leave Staten Island forever, and that’s something you simply can’t let happen.

So you do what you think you have to do. You step up. You move in. You fight. You fight because you still think you’re going home and getting laid when all is said and done. You fight because you think fighting is what you’re supposed to do. You don’t know any better because you’ve never been with anyone who’d do this to you, so you’re not expecting it. One minute you’re sipping on Grey Goose and watching her ass as she leads you toward the dance floor, and the next thing you know, you’re in front of the club with your shirt off because something inside you refuses to let you turn around and go the fuck home.

You see the worst of it as a bouncer. You see what you need to avoid doing, and you learn to avoid it. You see the people you shouldn’t be associating yourself with, and you avoid them, too. This job teaches you that. You learn what not to drink. What not to ingest. What not to consume. What not to wear.”

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