There is no reason to not escalate. You do not get any points for being the “nice guy.”
It’s only in the movies that the woman says “Wow, that’s so nice. You weren’t trying to have sex with me. You like me for me!”
This is not to say that you should constantly be hitting on her and trying to have sex with her. There is something to be said for biding your time, pushing her away after you kiss her and saying “You’ve had enough.” And then *SMACK* on the ass.
What I’m talking about is the nice guy syndrome. You want so badly for her to think you are a good, nice person, that you don’t risk taking it to the next level.
You also may not realize how fast it is possible to escalate. When your wing tells you “You could fuck that girl tonight if you wanted to” and then it happens, your reality literally explodes.
You don’t get any points for waiting. You want to separate yourself from other guys, but not being sexual is not the way to do it.
Always Escalate. Always. That is my motto. I’ve been working on this for a while. Always seeing how far I can push it and how quickly I can take things to the next level.
When I go out at night I physically escalate quickly, so quickly that sometimes I get rejected.
During the day, I try to take the girl home THAT DAY. Fuck Day 2’s. I don’t want Day 2’s anymore. I’m going to bounce the girl for coffee and then bounce her to a bar or a store in my neighborhood and then back to my place.
What does this do? Does it make girls trust me less? No. It makes me work on my comfort and trust so that I have it nailed down. It makes me work on my attraction game so that I can get the girl so turned on she doesn’t want to stop. It makes me perfect my kino and see how quickly I can make her comfortable with touching me.
Fuck Day 2’s. From the moment I approach the girl I am thinking about sleeping with her. Every move I make I am considering when is the right time to escalate to the next level, when is the opportune moment to ask this girl out for coffee or get her to leave the venue with me.
And if I do have to set up a day 2, if there are logistical issues or she says ‘no’, you better believe I am taking this girl back to my place on that first date.
I’m not pushy. But I know where I want to go. I know how things are going to unfold and I’m pushing that envelope.
I had a girl break up with me the other night on our first date. “I’m just not ready to get involved. I have intimacy issues.” I sat back and laughed. And kept escalating.
“You’re not getting in my pants” she said, as I escalated even further.
Nothing happened that night with her. And that was fine with me. It wouldn’t have made a difference if I had waited four dates to try something with that girl. She wouldn’t have been more attracted to me at that point.
I can escalate hard because I know she isn’t the only thing on my plate. If she rejects me, which she did, I have other options. A lot of them.
It doesn’t mean I wasn’t into her as a person. I was. There was something special and unique about this girl. But I also wasn’t about to take it personally when she didn’t want to get involved with me.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the phrase “We’re not having sex.”
“Thank God!” I’ll respond. “A girl that doesn’t just want me for my body.” And then sometimes we have sex. Or sometimes she makes me wait until the next date.
Always escalate. Always. I KNOW I’m a wussy. I know I’m a nice guy. I’ve been a nice guy since I was 8 years old. It’s not going away. It seeps through ever fiber of my being.
It’s now time to see how far I can push it rather than play it safe. It’s time to escalate to the next level of my game.
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