Tell Better Stories–And Get The Girl

by Eric Disco
Jan 29

The subway train was packed with people. Her and I were standing near each other. It was so crowded you couldn’t even find a place to hold onto.

I’d approached her on the platform, asking her for directions. She was receptive. Her name was Ambra. She was a cutey from Milan with big eyes and long brown hair.

A minute later we both got on the train and ended up next to each other. She was laughing as I talked with her and teased her about different things.

There were train delays and the train kept stopping between stations. This was a blessing, although it could have been a curse if I’d run out of things to say.

I’d been busting on her a lot and the deepest we’d gone into rapport was name-from-do (What’s your name, where are you from, what do you do). And that’s not much for rapport. I knew I could get her number but I needed some rapport at this point or else she would flake.

Hmmm. Rapport. 9:30 AM and the train is at a standstill because there are delays. I can hardly move the train is so packed. Ten or fifteen people can hear our conversation. Right now, rapport would feel about as natural as a three dollar bill. What do I do?

I scan my brain for stories.

How to Have Great Stories

When something interesting, funny, weird, or storyworthy happens to me, I usually share it with a friend or lover. That’s typically when I realize it’s a great story. Whenever this happens, a light goes on in my head that says “Aha! This is a good story!”

Or maybe I’m talking to a close friend or lover and we begin to reminisce about childhood or the past and I tell her something personal or unique about myself or my past. Oftentimes it’s a story about childhood.

If I tell a good story, I immediately go and write it down. I keep a long list of stories that I can use for different situations.

I practice these stories. I tell them over and over again. They usually get better with each telling because I know how people will react.

I prefer that the stories be true. You don’t need to lie to come up with a good story. You don’t need to use someone else’s story. Everybody has interesting experiences. It’s just a matter of framing them correctly and picking out the experiences that people can relate to.

Let’s take a look at some stories I’m using right now.

Wake-Up Fairy

When you were in pre-school, did they make you take naps? (This is the “hook” question)

When I was in pre-school they had naptime every day. They would make all of us kids take naps. And who ever was the best nap-taker, who ever slept best, moved the least, got to be the WAKE-UP FAIRY. That kid got this wand with a big star on the end and he went around to each kid waking them.

I LOVED being the wake-up fairy. I ALWAYS wanted to be the wake-up fairy. I think I’m really good at that! It’s important to be woken up properly. When I was a kid my mother always used to wake me up with a kiss on the cheek. She’d say (all sing-songy) “Time to wake up, Eric” and give me a nuzzle and kiss on the cheek, like this.

At this point I can nuzzle her and kiss her on the cheek a little bit, depending on the situation. This is a great story because it brings you back to childhood, but it also allows for some nice kissing and maybe even puts in her head what it would feel like to wake up with you in bed.

Here is another story based on a more recent experience.

Twilight Zone

Have you guys ever had a twilight zone moment? (This is the hook question)

I went into work the other day. When I arrived, the other guys in my department hadn’t gotten there yet. The office seemed a bit slow but I didn’t think much of it. I started doing my work, walking around the office, doing what I do. I get pretty focused on my work when I get into it. Then, half an hour later, I realized… I hadn’t seen one single person in the office the whole time I’d been there! There are normally 200 people in my office! It was like one of those twilight zone moments when you realize no one on the planet exists accept you. Then I realized that the office had a holiday that day and I’d forgotten. But it freaked me out. HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE FOR SO LONG? What’s wrong with me??

While we oftentimes recommend staying away from self-deprecating humor, this is a nice rapport story that shows you have a human side and can laugh at yourself.

Using the Story

So you have a story. Now what? If you just plow through with your story, it’s not as effective as using it to do other things. If it’s a fun, lighter story, you can bust on her during the story. Or you can go into role-playing. If it’s a deeper rapport story, you want to use it to get her to open up.

Oftentimes you won’t even finish the story. If you go off onto a different tangent of conversation, that’s even better. You don’t want to push the conversation back to your story necessarily. It can come across as low-value if you are dying to tell your story.

I told the Wake-Up Fairy story to the girl on the train and she loved it. I got an “Awww” when I told her about how my mom woke me up. At the end of my interaction with this cutey, she was asking me for my phone number.

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posted in Rapport Skills

COMMENTS
16 responses
Bib says:

Good advice – I’ve got a great line I’m usually too shy to use, but have once or twice when I’m either tipsy or too hungover to care. I used it last on the Tube (London) where most trains pull into stops and one side is platform, the other side wall:

“Hey… I gotta ask – ‘cos I’m worried about it, see – when you’re tired, or hungover, and the train pulls into a stop, do you ever look out the window and think “FUCK ME! this train has no platform!”? ‘Just that happened to me recently, I thought maybe I’m getting stupid since I finished studying last year….. (etc.)”

It’s only failed to get a laugh once. The girl might have been foreign, I didn’t stay to find out.

One thing though – PLEASE stop saying “oftentimes”, it’s REALLY not a word anybody should use, ever. I don’t think it’s even a word. Even if I never read another of your posts, I’ll have done the world a favour if one more person never says that again.
B

Mac says:

do all the stories need a hook point in the beginning?

Crew says:

Yes, the “hook point” is what grabs them into the convo. The “hook point” should be intresting or/and fun to stop them from just walking off. Dont forget at this point you have equal or less value then her (in her eyes)

Martin says:

Some great ideas, I’m not the most outspoken when it comes to approaching a chick, but getting them to interact with your story brings them into it and grabs their attention.

Take this for instance. I was starting work at 9am and there were people queuing outside since 4am to get a $500 40″ LCD tv that was going on sale that day.

As soon as the store shutters opened it was pandemonium. People were running down to the electronic department at full speed they practically came out the woodwork. Seeing this tide of people naturally I went pale and my whole life flashed before my eyes with the train of thought: I am going to be trampled to death by stampeding shoppers… Not exactly the heroic death any person should have.

Shoppers are now grabbing me by the elbow making me run with them saying “Show me where this $500 TV is” while I shake them off and point “Down that way” afraid that if I lie to joke around they will come back with a shank and make a few entry and exit holes in my ribcage and rectum. while i go the the store entrance to see if people are still making their way in for the “TV of the promised land” I see a group of people crowded at the entrance I went over to have a look and bit back furious laughter.

This is the punchline.

apparently some smart ass thought he could jump the queue just as the store’s steel shutters were raising and he knocked himself out cold. The Idiot tried to duck under the shutter while running and ran headlong into it. I didn’t know the shutter has a part time job of bull fighting with customers but in the end if it gives me a cheap laugh I don’t mind.

Stuff like that is gold when trying to make conversation about your work place to make things interesting. you don’t need to have an avidly interesting job to have a funny story or two.

Max says:

nice. I really liked that you brought up the point that you have to practice a story. Body language, prosody, and of course a good imitation are all spices you can throw in the mix. I think you have some great points though

Doug says:

Stories really have to be your own too. You may be using a story you heard from a friend as your own or using your own stories but in any case, they need to be your own story. I have a ton of random stories that I tell all the time, and they’ve all become my stories, they have evolved a little, changed color, some have become fish tales, but all of them, no matter who tells them, distinctly sounds like me. A good example of what I’m saying is from the movie “reservoir dogs” where Sam Jackson is telling the undercover guy how to tell a story. I particularly like to tell a slightly embarrassing story to show a funny side of me, but also to show that I’m totally secure about myself.

GK says:

I hate ‘name-from-do’. That is what people who don’t know anything about seduction default into. It is the only arrow in the AFC quiver, and probably anchors HBs to their past AFC experiences.

Nico says:

I am going to have to agree with GK here; you are a complete chump if you use name-from-do with a HB. That being said… you could say the most retarded shit known to man and as long as you correct your voice and body movements (open and inviting and saying you came into my frame, not the other way around), you will be $$$.

Good Luck,

Nico

Grest says:

Does this place have a glossary? I don’t understand a word of all this encoded stuff

Tido says:

@ Eric Disco
“It can come across as low-value if you are dying to tell your story.” Been taking some improvisation lessons, and I know having an agenda in improvisation is not good. But why is this low-value to want to finish your story?

[...] stories – Idea 1 – Idea 2 – Idea 3 – Try to keep it true and at the same time [...]

patrick says:

Hook: you ever get to work and you forgot something?

Well the other day I get to work and people are looking at me funny. I figure it’s all in my head. I got into my office, and get started on the wrok for that day. But then I notice that it feels a little chilly in my office, like there is a cold breeze.

Turns out….I forgot to wear pants.

::pause with straightface for 10 seconds::

I’m just fucking with you, girl.

dave says:

It sounds like you really walk a “fine line” when you put yourself out there telling a story. Eric D. seems to have this down, but I am not certain that guys who struggle with this can get through it as
inexperienced storytellers.

cabrera says:

I’m introverted but I didn’t even introVerted when I was telling her a true story person can face girl and tell story but I was busy facing downs because of grief and sorrowful, about genocide, hOw people killed each other neighbors tortured their neighbors using machete innocent babes burnt in the fire was a genocide
mass slaughter that took place in 1994 in the
East African minority Tutsi, who had
controlled power for centuries, and the
majority Hutu peoples, who had come to
power in the rebellion in 1959s she cried I thought why was she crying what have done wrong but later on I realized that she felt sorry about my parents and family

Wes says:

Great post. Writing stories down after you tell a good one makes a lot of sense. I have lots of stories, more than I give myself credit for, but they’re not available when I want. Not practiced or refined. Cheers!

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