Ten Things You Can Do To Handle Approach Anxiety–Right Now!

by Eric Disco
Dec 9

Approach anxiety. That incomprehensible fear that overtakes you when you want to go talk to that beautiful woman. Logically you don’t care what happens, but for some reason, your body prevents you from doing it. Here are ten tips to help handle your approach anxiety.

Breathe. The ability to relax is at the foundation of being comfortable around women. Remember to take slow, deep breaths when approaching women (and during the interaction as well.) Beyond this, there are different breathing exercises you can do like square breathing and abdominal breathing.

Walk Slowly. When you are anxious, your heart races, and slowing everything down is one of the best things you can do to calm yourself. I have found that walking around slowly helps me to calm mentally as well as physically.

Write Down Your Excuses. Whenever you want to approach but can’t, write down your excuses. Try to eliminate them one at a time. You can even keep them in your pocket as you go out.

Go Out With a Friend. If I go out at night with a friend, he and I sometimes “trade off” opening girls. He does one, then I do one, etc. If you are really determined you can pay your friend $100 and have him pay you $10 every time you do an approach.

Do ‘Warmup’ Sets. If it is during the day, you can ask a few people the time or for directions–it doesn’t even have to be a girl you’re interested in. Just getting your mouth moving helps to you to get “outside your head.” If it’s at night, before you get to the bar, you can ask five different people if a bar is good or if they know any good places for karaoke, etc.

Go To The Same Place Everyday. It helps to be in the same location and get comfortable there. Whether it’s the park or a bookstore or a specific bar, you will feel more at ease if you go there every day.

Get Moving. During the day, I prefer to go out for half an hour than just wait around for anyone I run into. I can prepare myself mentally when I go out. Also, if I don’t open any girls, I am still focusing on pickup and still staying focused.

Walk Toward Hot Girls–Even If You Don’t Open Them. This trains your body to walk toward hot girls. Like the previous tip, Get Moving, it gets your body moving in the correct direction. Sounds funny, I know, but it works!

Stop Reading! There is nothing like real-world experience. You can read all the books in the world about riding a bicycle, but you will not be able to ride one until you get on it and fall off a few times. Too much reading can be counter-productive in a lot of ways.

The 3 Second Rule. This means that you shouldn’t wait more than three seconds to approach a girl. Firstly, the longer you wait, the more anxiety tends to build up. So if you go right away, there is less chance to talk yourself out of it. Secondly, if you “hover” too long, it creeps the girl out. She notices you. However, I have found that the three second rule is a double-edged sword. Just because you see her, and perhaps even your eyes met, doesn’t mean you can’t approach if three seconds pass. You should never rule out an approach.


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