They were sorority girls. You could tell just by looking at them. Half of them weren’t very cute. The place wasn’t packed. None of the places in the area were, it was a Wednesday night. So we decided to stay.
I’m with Frank and Craig. As soon as we walk in, I go over to one of the girls. I’m not that attracted to her. Because of the way she lit up when I walked over, I didn’t even have to use an opener. I ask her if this is a private party. She gives me the details that they are taking their sority sister out because she just turned 21.
Whenever there is a party at a bar you are totally in. No matter what. Make it your business to find out who the party is for and talk to everyone there, ask how they know her, etc. It’s like being at a house party. “Did this girl get her birthday spankings?” I begin asking.
I spot a girl at the other end of the bar and walk over to her. I’ve been wanting to use this opener for a while, although I have a feeling I don’t really need an opener.
“Oh my god. This is so embarrassing,” I say to her.
“What?” she says and I pause to let the tension build a little.
“I almost wore the SAME EXACT OUTFIT. That would have been SO embarrassing if we showed up in the same outfit.”
She sort of laughs and says how it would look good on me. She asks how I know the other people there. She assumes I’m friends with them. I am in because of it. That’s how it works with private parties in bars.
We talk a bit but this girl isn’t super cute either and I’ve already overgamed her just by using the opener. The one guy in the party comes over and I introduce myself to him. They know each other from high school and I duck out of the conversation.
I walk back over to the other side of the bar and there is a cute girl. Very cute. I sit down next to her at the bar and she is already opened. I don’t have to do anything. I can tell she’s already seen me talking to people and I don’t need to use any opener. We start vibing and she starts talking. Fast.
When a girl starts talking and talking, pretty much all you have to do is listen and get her to keep talking. She was drunk and talking about how she’s in a band in school and plays trombone. I show a lot of interest while throwing out a few things here and there like “Oh my god, that’s awesome. I would be so into you if you were my type.”
She tells me she’s a model. “Oh really?” I say. “A hand model?”
“No!” she says. “A body model!” and perks up her body and runs her hands down her side. This girl is very cute and growing attracted to me but I can tell there’s still room to run more attraction. “Oh! So like in art class. You’re the model they draw.”
“No! I’m in magazines” she goes on.
We talk more. And I tell her I’m originally from New Jersey also. She mentions her father and then her boyfriend.
I ask about him. This is a routine I developed that I’ve been using a lot lately:
Her: “I have a boyfriend”
Me: “Just one? That’s nothing to feel insecure about.”
Me: “Here’s what we’re gonna do. You stick with me and I’m gonna find you some more boyfriends. Take a look around, you see anybody cute in this place?”
I eventually bail on this interaction because she’s with all her sorority sisters and I don’t feel like working this.
Before I leave I get her to give me a kiss on the cheek while I take a photo.
We head out to another bar.
As soon as I walk in I spot this cutey from across the bar. She looks a little bored. I walk over. I don’t really need an opener here, I just walk over and be friendly. I think I say something like “Hi. My name’s Eric.” She smiling and friendly.
I’ve also been using the whole “Do you know if there’s any good places around here to breakdance. You look like you could breakdance.” I tell her to put out her hand and I do ‘the wave’ with her and then bust her on it. I joke about taking her out as my backup dancer.
We start to talk for a while and then I tell her to scootch over so I can sit next to her. I end up going around her and sitting on the other side of the table. The problem is that her chair is faced slightly away from me. We have really nice rapport. And I drop a few routines in to spice it up, although I can tell I don’t really “need” it. This girl is already attracted.
But the problem was with the way her chair was facing. I had to turn myself to face her while she was turned slightly away. And no matter how well I ran this, she was mentally perceiving me as the chaser and her as the chased. I could feel it. At one point I turned my body so that I was talking over my shoulder and I could see her warm up. I take a few photos
I eventually told her to turn her chair, and she did. But by that point it was too late. She was too overvalidated by my over-interested body language. She was enjoying the interaction but she wasn’t getting sucked in.
I noticed how I was qualifying myself to her. I noticed that I was talking too much. I was in a mode of not wanting to be controlled by her but at the same time offering too much control of the situation rather than getting her to be creative. At one point, I just had to stop throwing conversation out there and let her pick it up. She noticed at that point and did pick up the conversation.
At the end I went for the day 2, just to see if I could get it.
“Are you going to be around next week?” I say to her. She mumbles off some kind of excuse. It was beautiful. This is exactly why I love to go for the day 2 close rather than the number close. I don’t need this girl’s phone number taking up space if I know she’s going to flake.
Lesson Learned: Body language is huge. You can do everything else right and if the body language is off you are shooting yourself in the foot.