I do a “warmup” at the coffee shop and ask the not-so-cute girl next to me how she’s doing. We exchange smiles.
I walk through the pouring rain with my umbrella. When I get to the subway stop the train is just coming. No time to open anyone on the platform.
I get to my stop to transfer. My jeans are soaked and I’m almost sweating from the humidity. But I’m determined to do this.
I’m walking along the platform and I see a cute girl sitting on a bench. I walk over and sit down next to her.
“Hi,” I say. But it wasn’t loud enough. She doesn’t hear me.
“Hi. I was on my way to work…” she turns and looks at me, wondering what I have to say. “And I wanted to come say hi. My name’s Eric.” I put out my hand.
She gives me a smile, not a huge one, but a smile none-the-less. “My name’s Erin.” We shake hands.
Okay, uh, what do I say now? I start to jibber jabber with her a bit. She’s giving me a smile and a bit back, but she’s somewhat bewildered by the whole thing.
I start to run out of things to say. (Eric, don’t talk about politics, don’t talk about politics, don’t talk about politics…) “I was up late last night watching the election…”
“Me too,” she says. I ask her a question about it, but she doesn’t want to answer. Thank god. I am super interested in politics, but it’s the worst thing I can bring up during a pickup. I’ve learned to never do it because it always turns out badly, even if we do agree, it’s not a good way to connect. It’s one of my cardinal sins. But who cares. It’s not about running a smooth pickup right now. It’s about getting comfortable.
When the train comes, I say “It was nice to meet you. I’ll see you around.” We shake hands. She smiles. I get on a different train than she does.
This is all about me getting comfortable with this right now. There are a host of things I can do to improve this interaction, but I am focusing on the basics. I know that if I am comfortable, she will be comfortable. How comfortable I am shows on my face, in my body language, and in my tone of voice.
I did this over the summer. Every day in the park I went out. Every day I opened a girl with the same line. And things improved dramatically for me within weeks. I began opening super hot girls. I began getting dates.
I have a date tonight with this amazing girl I met in the park last week. And another tomorrow night with this other girl I’ve been seeing who I met in the park last month. It’s just a matter of time and consistency until the subway comes to fruition.
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