Another day I'm not in the mood to approach

by Eric Disco
Aug 30

Oh my god. I DO NOT feel like approaching today. After a long weekend of helping coach AoA, I’m totally drained today. It’s monday x10. I’m sitting here at work and I’m useless. The weather sucks ass out.

I make my way out to the nearby Barnes and Noble to at least do the one set a day I promised myself. I see a cute girl sitting at a table. I can’t seem to do it though. Why? “I don’t have an opener” runs through my mind. “What would I say after opening” is vying for attention as well. Both of them are somewhat lame excuses, given the fact that my focus right now isn’t even to make sure I get in, my focus is to do an approach, whether I get blown out or not.

I’ve been doing so many openings in the park and on the street, that now, for some reason, the bookstore is giving me a hard time.

I see another cute girl heading up the escalator. I don’t open anyone and decide to head back to work.

Coming back from getting coffee a few hours later I veer through the park just to see what’s what. I walk past a cute sout-asian looking girl in a green dress. I circle round. Stop, sip my coffee. Okay, I’m going in.

I walk up to her and say “Hi. I was just headed back to work and I wanted to come say hi. My name’s eric.”

She says hi and that she’s working on something. I ask about what she’s working on. She says she’s putting together a delegation to go to Rawanda on some sort of activist peace thing. I get all excited because I am excited and ask her more questions, eventually chiming in about the activist work I’ve done.

We get into a really cool conversation.

I’m sitting across the table from her a bit far to kino, so at one point I have to reach over sort of awkardly and kino. I was cool with it and I could tell she was. I think a slight awkward reach of a kino is better than no kino, if you can time it right. I think it was when I busting on her or something.

I end up inviting her out on a day 2 and she gives me her number to call.

Coming away from this today I will say this:

1. No matter what happens in approaching a girl, whether I get blown out hard or severly humiliated, I almost never walk away thinking something negative about the girl, like she’s a bitch or she was just mean, etc. I always take the full responsibility for the interaction on myself. That’s because the most important thing for me is to learn. Even whether you connect with a girl or not, that is my responsibility. As Lance Mason says, it’s your responsiblity to find something interesting and unique in the girl, no matter what. That said, I think some girls are better than others. The girl above I met was really cool and interesting. I will say that it’s highly possible a girl this interesting and cool might not share with me those cool and interesting things about herself if she were more shy and I weren’t good at bringing that out of her.

2. Even being in a crappy state (physically) I was able to meet a cool person. Just because you feel better or worse on any particular day, does not make it more or less likely that whom ever you approach will be cooler or less cool.

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posted in Acceptance, Park Game

COMMENTS
3 responses
David says:

Terrific post! Keep up the good work.
It helps a lot to know that it’s possible to do something good even in the days you don’t feel like you can. And to have the commitment to do what you know you have to do, even though you feel like a shit that day.

Congratulations!

CCCCC says:

hey is your success rate really this high or did you leave out reports?

seems a bit unreal to get over 50% close rate.

dave says:

Eric – I am not sure that I understood your entire essay, but I have
never approached a woman and probably never will, just reading about the horrors that are out there. I have been much happier not even thinking about it ( it seemed harder than climbing the outside of a building) and not having to laugh at how impossible the game was to play. It looks like you got over such a headache and came to grips
with it.

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