All the time I see guys get themselves into bad positions with women.
They turn into the guy who’s constantly asking a girl out for a date and she’s constantly saying no.
They get into relationships where the girl is acting badly but he’s powerless to stop her bad behavior.
Part of the problem here is that men tend to be straightforward. They take her words at face value.
They don’t understanding the difference between implicit and explicit communication.
You go out on a date with a girl. The next day, you send her a text. But she’s already decided she’s not into you.
Explicit communication would be if she texted you back something like, “I don’t think we’re a match,” or “I’m getting a friendship vibe from you.” She explicitly told you how she feels.
Implicit communication would be if she simply didn’t text you back at all. She is communicating to you that she’s not interested but she’s not explicitly telling you she isn’t interested. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the biggest mistakes guys make, over and over, is trying to logically convince women to date them.
They spend an inordinate amount of time demonstrating that they are an appropriate match for her.
For a woman to get involved with you, she must, at some point, take action, even if that means simply responding `yes’ to your initiatives.
That initiative is always based on her feelings.
The decision to not date you may be a logical one or an emotional one.
For example, if she’s experienced, she may deduce that her feelings are being manipulated and she may decide that she does not want to date you.
Or she may not feel emotionally inclined to date you.
But no matter how logical she is, her taking a positive step to get involved with you will always be based on emotion. You may be the perfect match on paper, but if you don’t turn her on emotionally, she won’t say Yes.
Ultimately, she knows that feelings are all that remain in a relationship.
No matter how good or appropriate the proposition, if you don’t feel it right at the beginning, you will never feel it. She can envision feeling less, but she can’t envision feeling more. Read the rest of this entry »
Some girl on Reddit posted this profile of a guy from OKCupid.
Listened to 14 years worth of complaints about bad boyfriends, your bad day and everything else that’s wrong with you.
Have helped hundreds, possibly thousands of people just by listening and trying to cheer them up. The first person I ever helped said she stopped cutting herself because she had me. Another person told me she’d never, ever say “I love you” to anyone again the day she met me, later she said it to me. So I kept on helping. “I’m not looking for wealth or glory, I’m just buying that stairway to heaven Jesus sang about.”
Lots of heart, kindness, caring. To this point it’s been thrown away by jerks. So lots of hurt too. It’s not possible for me to have been any nicer to people than I have but no good deed goes unpunished and all that.
Still believe in chivalry.
I spend a lot of time thinking about Why girls have such incredibly bad taste in guys. “He locked her in a box for months on end and called her ugly and gay”…yah…and /’m the one that can’t find a gf!?!?
You want someone that’s sweet, kind, caring, wants you for you and nothing else after all the complaining how you can’t eeevvveeerrr find someone like that and it would make you s00000000 happy to have such a guy…and then throw him away when you get it.
You should message me if you are sweet and caring. Not just one of those people that say you are then act like a total ass when it’s time to show it.
Sex thing, not a chance. Nil. Ziltch. Nadda. Zero. Not only has every girl I dated that already had sex cheated on me I’ve promised someone that if I ever changed my mind on it she’d be the first I ask. It’s been a very long time and she once told me I was the prince charming she dreamed of when she was a little girl so I would NOT do that to her. I wouldn’t do it to anyone really. If I would I’d be a terrible person and you wouldn’t want me anymore. But the point is were I to change it I’d have to ask her and she’d still say yes.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be my girlfriend.
What makes me cringe is that this guy is an extreme version of the way I used to be back in the day.
When you adopt a self-righteous demeanor like this, you can blame everyone but yourself when things don’t go your way.
If you always play the angel, you never have to go through the pain of stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing things that scare you.
The scary part is that you can stay a momma’s boy like this all your life if you don’t figure out how to change.
And you’ll think there’s something wrong with the world instead of yourself until your dying day.
It’s for people who have had interactions with strangers but didn’t get to exchange contact info.
A lot of times you see posts where a girl was into a guy, but she just didn’t act in time. Or act right. And she missed her chance.
You asked me for directions to the subway, and then said I was cute and asked if I would like to grab some food. When I said I was on my way to a date you asked if I was married or if it was a boyfriend and how it was going. I was running late and caught off guard so I said that he was my boyfriend.
Truth is it was a first date, you were cute and confident and kept popping into my mind through out the date. You went out on a limb, now I am. I’ve got nothing to lose – should have taken your number or at least exchanged names.
It’s so easy to think that a girl simply wasn’t into you when often times she froze up just like you did. Here’s another: Read the rest of this entry »