It gnaws away at you.

Living in New York City, you see gorgeous women all the time.

When I first moved to New York, I joked with my friend from home that you don’t even need to turn your head when you see a cute girl because another one is bound to walk into your field of vision.

On the way to work you see them. At lunchtime. At the gym. On the way home.

It should be a man’s paradise.

But what if I told you it’s not?

What if I told you that seeing all of these gorgeous women every day can actually kill your confidence?

Continue Reading »

Within the treacherous deep of the catacombs, there is a book.

Massive in its proportion, this book holds billions of words on its razor-thin pages.

It is the Book of Not Approaching.

Turn page after page and you will find this vast, endless book filled with one thing:

Excuses.

There is always a reason why you shouldn’t approach her. Always some excuse dangling.

Your mind has brilliantly written this book.  It is exhaustive, familiar, and each excuse is indexed for near instantaneous reference.

Continue Reading »

(Thanks to John!)

When I was in middle school, my best friend had a way with the ladies.

Whenever a girl would ask for something, he would never give it to her for free.

We’re all sitting at a diner. One of the girls at our table asks him to pass her purse that’s on the other side of him.

“What’s it worth to you?”  he says with a smile, as if he’s not going to pass the purse without some kind of payment.

He himself finds this very amusing, regardless of whether the girl does.

“Oh, you want this?” he says as if he just found the purse.

“Yes,” she would say with a fake sigh at him being so difficult. She tries to hold back a smile.

“I bet you do,” he says.  He grabs the purse and instead of handing it over, he starts to open it up.  “Hmmm… let’s see what’s inside here…“

“Dave, stop!!!!” she shrieks, laughing.

Continue Reading »

This post is by my good friend Robbie Kramer from Inner Confidence.

Last night I’m out with a small group of students at a new bar in West L.A.

At one point in the night we are talking to a group of cute girls on the patio.

One of the girls mentions that she has to leave by midnight or she’ll turn into a pumpkin.

Then she says that if she keeps drinking she’ll get bloated and her face will get filled with pox.

I misunderstand her and say “Did you just say that you’ll get bloated and you’ll get filled with cock?”

She starts laughing hysterically and playfully punches my arm.

Continue Reading »

Flakes.  Ugggh.

Aside from approaching women in the first place, this is one of the biggest frustrations for guys.

You go out, you put in the effort. All the signs are there.  She seems to like you.

Maybe she even likes you a lot.

You get her number.  You’re excited. You can feel the energy.  And then…

No date ever materializes.

It’s quite frustrating.  And, even worse, it grates on your ego.

Is there something wrong with my game? Why won’t women meet up with me?

Is there something wrong with me?

Many guys feel like if they could just get a woman on a date, they’d be golden.  I’m excellent on dates, they tell me.  So what am I doing wrong?

Continue Reading »

There’s a joke I like to tell:

Q: How do you know when you see a group of pick up artists?

A: There’s no women around them.

It’s funny because… well, it’s true.  Most guys out there practicing their game are not very good at it.

And that’s okay because we all have to start somewhere.

But that’s still no excuse to not have women in your life.

When I gave a talk about a month ago at NYC Social Dynamics Masterminds, my excellent host Phillip, commented that I was the only “PUA” to talk at his event who had ever brought any girls with him.

And on top of that, he continued, I brought five hot girls with me.

Continue Reading »

There’s been a lot of discussion about the limitations of getting attractive women unless you yourself are physically attractive.

One of the most important things you can do to improve your looks is to improve your fashion.  In many ways, fashion is more important to women because it conveys something physical attractiveness cannot: social intelligence.

Here are ten killer tips to go from lady snoozer to lady chooser and terminate your nice guy vibe.

1) Have a look rather than trying to mix and match. I can’t tell you to buy this belt or these shoes because it’s not about just finding a great belt or great shoes. It’s about finding an overall look that works for you.

Are you a motorcycle rider? Punk? Artist? Wall Street Trader in custom suits? Yoga guru? Euro DJ? Country gentleman? You should pick a look that is partially based on your interests. You don’t have to be a professional skateboarder to wear a skatepunk look. If you skateboard once in a awhile or like to watch professional skateboarding, then you can adopt the look.

Continue Reading »

It is toward the end of our second coaching session.

Patrick has learned the first two steps: to get comfortable in a location and to position himself next to women he’s interested in.

We are in whole foods.  We have been walking around downstairs.  He will pick up an item of food and ask a woman how it is.

After she responds he says “Thank you” and walks away.

He does not continue the conversation.

I’ve forbidden him from doing so.

“What were you going to tell me?” I say to him when he returns.

“I’ve got fucking balls,” he says to me.

This is what he says to me after every interaction.  I do this with all my clients.

We come up with a phrase in the language he would normally use that he will come back and tell me after every interaction. Continue Reading »

My good friend Scott, an evolutionary psychologist, posted an article about speed dating on his blog, ScottandtheCity.com.

“Where are all the suave speed daters?” he asks.

I recently went to a speed dating event for the first time and had a really good experience.

Compared to internet dating, speed dating is a great addition to approaching women.

I used to do internet dating. Although I did it for a good number of years and had success at it, I’m not a huge fan of internet dating anymore. It’s just ends up being a huge timesuck without much payoff.

You spend a lot of time writing your profile and grooming it, changing things around to make it sound good.  Continue Reading »