Most guys look at their success with women as a one-to-one ratio.

She’s got those qualities. I’ve got these qualities. Am I good enough for her?

It’s a simple one-to-one equation for them.

But guys who are great with women know how to use leverage.

Archimedes famously said, “Give me a lever long enough and I’ll move the world.”

With a long beam and a fulcrum, you can move something multiple times heavier than you’d be able to move without.

That’s the definition of leverage.

When it comes to doing well with women, the same applies.

The way you use leverage is to take what’s been given to you and use it for multiple times what it would normally be worth.

In this way, a guy can capitalize on a tiny bit of interest–or a tiny opening–and make things happen.

Here are a few ways to do this. Read the rest of this entry »

On Wednesday, Jan 18, ApproachAnxiety.com will go “dark” along with hundreds of other sites around the net to oppose SOPA and PIPA.

SOPA and PIPA are pending U.S. laws that would give a handful of corporations power to censor the internet in order to maximize their profits.

The bills, aimed at stopping piracy, call for a government blacklist that would block accused websites without a court trial.

It would make merely discussing the location of websites on the blacklist illegal.

ApproachAnxiety.com and many of your favorite websites could drop off the internet with only an accusation.

The internet is the most important tool of our time. In a world dominated by technology, the right to free speech on the internet is the cornerstone on which all other human rights currently depend.

If you live in the U.S., please call your legislators about this on January 18. Let them know that we won’t stand silently by as they try to censor the voice of a generation.

Eric

More links about SOPA

Growing Chorus of Opposition to “Stop Online Piracy Act”

American Censorship Day

Founders of the Internet Write a Letter to Congress Opposing SOPA (pdf)

Reddit: Stopped they must be; on this all depends.

Boing Boing will go dark on Jan 18 to fight SOPA

Stephen Colbert explains SOPA

How SOPA Could Ruin My Life

SOPA supporters facing boycotts, thanks to Reddit

Subreddit to fight SOPA

BoingBoing articles tagged SOPA

This is a fun sequence I like to do in conversation.

It’s playful and I get to hold her hand.

There’s always a point in the conversation where I transition into personal topics.

“What do you do?” I ask her.

“No–wait,” I say. “Don’t tell me. Let me guess.”

I look her up and down.

“I’m really good at this. I’m actually psychic. Here, give me your hand.”

I take her hand in mine.

“Okay, try to psychically send it to me.”

I look deep into her eyes. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Christmas time again.

Women are out everywhere doing what they do best: shopping.

It’s no surprise the one of the easiest ways to meet women is to talk about gift buying.

She’s a hotty in the Medical Reference section at Barnes & Noble bookstore.

She’s leaning against a railing with her face buried in a book.

I walk over, stand next to her, and pick up a book off the shelf.

I open the book and tap her on the arm while looking at the book.

“Do you think this is a good gift for a nurse, or do you think she’d be sick of stuff like this?”

Read the rest of this entry »

Now that winter rolled around, I’ve been looking for indoor places to meet women.

I was taking the train around the city looking for different locations, and I noticed something:

All the cute girls I was meeting were on the train going to these locations rather than at the locations themselves.

There’s a reason a lot of guys inevitably ask the question: How do I meet women on public transportation?

In New York City, aside from women walking down the street, there is probably no place you see more attractive women.

So it’s very worthwhile to get good at meeting women on public transportation.

First, let’s discuss the pros and cons of doing this.

The Advantages of Meeting People on Public Transportation:

There are a lot of gorgeous women. If you ride public transportation, I don’t have to tell you how many attractive women you see, particularly during rush hour. Read the rest of this entry »

Thirty years ago, Dr. Stanley Milgram requested his graduate students perform an experiment.

They were to go down into the subways of New York City and, over and over, ask people if they could have their seat.

“Excuse me, may I have your seat?”

Originally, the experiment was conducted to see just how many people would give up their seats. Surprisingly, two thirds did.

But the more interesting part about this experiment is the trepidation the students experienced trying to carry out this task.

Those of you who have had trouble breaching the invisible barrier between you and that attractive stranger on the street will relate to their experiences.

The seemingly simple assignment proved to be extremely difficult, even traumatic, for the students to carry out. Read the rest of this entry »

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See the top of this chart? It’s not a point, it’s an arrow. That’s not an accident.

Here’s a secret that “successful” people won’t tell you: Read the rest of this entry »

There are too many things wrong with me.

My forehead is ridiculously high, my skin too white.

My eyes are too small. They’ve been described as “squinty” by tactless friends.

My jawline is anything but strong. I hide it with a beard. All the fashion now.

I’m getting older, and still I’m typically not the smartest man in the room.

I’ve lost enough debates at my age to know that there will likely be someone at the table with a better grasp of history. Or a better memory. Or someone more likely better read than me.

My career isn’t terrible. But it’s not progressed in a decade as my true love is arts—music, writing—neither of which has won me accolades, save for perhaps this blog and my successful coaching.

I have women to thank for showing me the light. The ones who let me get oh-so-close, but not quite. They turned me into a revolution.

They made my bones hurt with inadequacy as they let me fall in love with them.

Read the rest of this entry »

A former mentoring student of mine sent me an e-mail this week.

Hi Eric,

I seduced a hot girl that I briefly worked with.

After I hook up with a girl, I usually ask her for her views on sex and seduction. So I asked this girl how she likes to meet men.

She said she hates meeting men at bars or clubs. She told me her favorite way to meet guys is at Union Square*!

She said if she is ever in the mood to be picked up she will go hang out at Union Square and wait for a cool guy to approach her!

I also asked how they open her. She said she hates when they compliment her right away. She said she loves the “smooth” guys that open indirectly and then seduce her through conversation.

So interesting that this is your favorite game spot and that you prefer indirect. Thought you would find this interesting.

*”Union Square” refers to a park in the middle of Manhattan that’s surrounded by bookstores, supermarkets and clothing stores.

Aaaah. It warms my heart.

The takeaway from all of this is not that all women necessarily respond better to an indirect approach, or that all women prefer to meet guys during the day rather than in bars.

The takeaway here is that women want guys to talk to them.

It seems women are always providing resistance to us in some way. Even when a girl likes you, she will “test” your meddle by offering resistance. It’s in her nature.

Due to this, it’s easy to start viewing women as an obstacle rather than realizing that they want to meet a great guy.

Seduction is a collaborative process.

Next time you go to talk to a woman, remember this. She may have set out that day looking to meet a great guy.

And guess what? You are that great guy.

I’m standing on the subway platform when she catches my eye. I look over at her.

And then… I see her subtly look in my general vicinity.

Is she attracted to me? I wonder to myself.

Asking that question is a mistake in and of itself.

This is because women often don’t know themselves when they are attracted to a man, at least not in the same way men do.

As men, it’s easy for us to make the mistake of thinking that women are attracted to us in the same way that we are attracted to them.

When a man feels attracted to a woman, he knows right away. He feels a desire to have sex with her.

For the most part, man’s attraction is visual. When he sees a woman, he feels attraction instantly and powerfully. There is no doubt in his mind that he wants to fuck her. Read the rest of this entry »